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| Loved
Ones' Suicide Survivors |
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The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand ....WHY? We are all “intertwingled”.… separate, yet together, alike, yet different. We are interwoven such that, together, we are more than we are apart. Each of us is desperately loved and needed by others. But love isn't enough! If it were, our loved ones would still be alive. We are parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, lovers, partners, in-laws, companions, and friends of one who has completed suicide. We are “those left behind.” Victims of a tragedy that we could not foresee but feel responsibility for, and for which there is no closure. We are angry about our loss and seek the ability to express our anger appropriately, whether at the one we have lost, at others who ignored or were negligent about our loved one’s health, or at ourselves. We struggle with guilt and blame. We have a right to grieve in a manner and time frame that works best for us. We don’t have to “get over it” or “move on.” The intensity of our loss remains constant, the frequency of intense feelings does lessen over time. We face together the cruel reality that others will remember our loved ones, not for their life and how they lived it, but for their death and how it came to be. We are Loved Ones’ Suicide Survivors (LOSS). We suffer an especially acute, long, and painful grief. Our needs are not well understood. Our grief is complex, overwhelming and disabling. Death is a normal life crisis – suicide is an abnormal life crisis. We grieve, but we need not grieve alone. Here we come together in a room of unconditional love, understanding and support, to share with each other our pain, our confusion, our anger, our fears, and our memories, both good and bad. Here we celebrate the life of our loved ones as we struggle with the reality of their needless death. Love, Whisper
LOSS
~ Loved Ones' Suicide Survivors
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