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Char ~ Manager
- On Halloween, 1999, I awoke to find that my husband,
Ivan, had a heart attack or stroke as we had slept. Though
I had lost all of my Grandparents and a few Aunts and
Uncles before this time, I had never felt grief so intensely.
I felt all alone and lost. One evening, as I was online
working on some emails, I decided to do a search to see
if there wasn’t a place that could help me with what I
was feeling. I typed in the word ‘death’ and found a group
of wonderful people that took my hand and walked beside
me. They taught me that it was OK to smile and laugh again.
Sure, there were many days that this was impossible to
do but there was always a tomorrow to think of and with
those thoughts, I was able to start learning how to live
my life. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long till I was stumbling,
falling down and needed my friends to help me with a new
branch of this path. My Mother, was loosing her 8 year
battle with cancer. She joined her parents, several sisters
and my Ivan, 1-11-01. Thankfully, I had plenty of friends,
though I could not see their faces, to walk beside me
again. Another year passes and we received information
that my Dad had 2 types of cancer but because of his age
and other health issues there was nothing that could be
done. I remember Dad saying, “That’s ok, I’m ready to
go take your Mother dancing again.” With a summer sky
full of stars to light his way, my Dad joined my Mom for
a very special dance, 7-14-02. Again, I was thankful for
my online friends who were now becoming more like family
to me. Yet, my story doesn’t end. In April 2004, my daughter
calls to tell me I’m going to be a Grandma. How excited
I was, for this would not only be my first grandchild,
but it would be the first of the next generation for my
family. In May, she calls me again, she is worried, something
just didn’t seem right. She went to her Dr. and was sent
home again on bed rest. She ended up miscarrying the baby.
We cried together and I was thankful that I had introduced
her to my online family.
I am part of HALO’s staff, manager of the Living Room
and a host because I do believe in what we have here.
We can learn to smile, laugh and enjoy OUR life again.
My story doesn’t end on a sad note either for I have been
blessed to meet a man who’s wife passed to cancer and
we started the next chapter to our lives by getting married
7-16-04. This does not mean that we have forgotten our
spouses in Heaven and that we don’t still have our moments
of sadness over their passing, for we will always have
a special place in our hearts that holds a special love
for them and that‘s OK.
This path called grief isn’t an easy voyage to make so
I pray daily that all who come to HALO and those that
struggle on this path alone, may have just enough winds
to keep their sails going so they too can learn to live
their life again.
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Susan ~ Host
- I lost my cousin to a self-inflicted gunshot wound when
he was only 21-years-old. I still remember the complete
shock that I felt when my aunt called me, and the many
months of torment we went through, questioning everything
we had ever done or not done that we thought could have
prevented his choice. Recently a member here shared this
quote, and I think it is so true: "And then we
must trust, in God's goodness, God's understanding, and
God's power to redeem all things, even death, even death
by suicide."
I also lost my husband, Alan, on May 11, 1999 after
a three year battle with Hodgkin's Disease. The bone marrow
transplant which cured the cancer resulted in graph vs.
host disease which took his life. I became a widow at
age 36 and my four children were 6, 8, 11 and 13. I honestly
thought I was losing my mind and my life was over. I came
online and found people who understood me and my feelings.
I was allowed to feel what I needed to feel and experience
the loss among friends who helped me through. It took
time... far more time than I liked...
In 2004, I remarried and am now living a new life - I
have been blessed out of my socks! Life can start over
and we can create a "new normal" that is very
very good. This doesn't always include remarriage - it
can be a new career, volunteer work, or anything that
we want it to be. That life is over. We
have a new life to build from the ashes.
I was a part of starting this site as one of the founding
directors, and have returned to lend a helping hand because
I have a passion to give back a little of what was given
to me. Thanks to many of the staff and hosts here I have
rebuilt my life and they have helped "the widow's
heart sing" (Job 29:13).
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Rosie (rosief) ~ Host
- My name is Rosemary, better known as rosief. I lost
my husband Chuck, suddenly, on May 31, 2000. He was 55
and we had been married for 25 years. I have two great
kids, Kathy and Keith, and two dogs named Lucky and Sugar.
Our family had always been supporters of organ donation
and when Chuck passed away we donated his organs for transplant
and also for research. All of his recipients are continuing
to lead a good quality of life with their families. I
have received so much love and support from family and
friends and I am eternally grateful to all who have helped
me on this grief journey. Your hugs, laughter, advice,
and just your willingness to listen have meant so much.
Now by hosting here at HALO, I feel I have an opportunity
to give back some of the support I have so blessed to
receive.
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